“We've got one thing that Voldemort doesn't have. Something worth fighting for.”

I don’t want to say goodbye to you.

So please.

Don’t make me.

My Heart

My heart flutters at the sound of your voice
My heart melts at the look of your face
My lips form into a smile even though I know
My lips long for yours to bring a sweet kiss
My heart hurts because you are forever not mine
My heart aches for the feel of your touch
Nothing makes my heart better
So don’t you even dare try

If your hand is not the hand
That I have been looking for
Whose is it then?
As I am confused
I looked for you, I found you
But you have not been looking for me
You have been preoccupied
With another
I comprehend quite well what that means
But I refuse to ever think
That loving you was an idea
That was no less than reality
And although I never told
You should have caught on
Because now I cannot deal with it
Because now I have decided to move on

Just The Way…

Some day, when I'm awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.
Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.
With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.
Lovely ... Never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won't you please arrange it ?
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight.

I'm in a Frank Sinatra mood.

Unattainable Love

Difference is the key to life
There’s nothing wrong with it
It makes you who you are

But why must you be so unique?
Because you make me smile
Even when no one else can
Because you make my heart
Flutter when I hear your voice
Because you hold the key
That opens up my mind to new things

But why must you be so brave?
Because people then will see
That your life is no different than theirs
Because you realize that when you do
It helps people in many ways
Because that’s just how you work
And how you reveal yourself

But why must you be so loving?
Because you’re a lover
And not a fighter
Because you hate
To let people down
Because you care
When no one else does

But why must you be so open?
Because you know when to open your mouth
When things go the wrong way
Because you open your mind to different things
Even when those things are wrong to the world
Because you feel like you must defend yourself
When things take a turn for the worst

But why must you be so unattainable?
Because you care for someone else
Who needs to open their eyes
Because I know it’ll never happen
Because I know you deserve better
Because I know you deserve love
Even if it’s not with me

Turning Gay and Opinions

According to my brother, since Adamo Ruggiero was “forced” to play a gay character in the show Degrassi, then that made him gay in real life.

He claims that if you do gay things long enough, you turn gay.

But then he goes around and says that two guys kissing on a show – multiples shows – that it’s called acting.

Granted, my little brother has no problem with homosexuality. But he’s also only fourteen years old. He doesn’t really get the concept of some things just yet. Like, death and when it’s time to let go.

But either way, I think it’s interesting to hear opinions that are different than mine.

You don’t choose your sexuality. You can choose to say otherwise, but you will always be your sexuality. And sometimes sexuality gets you confused, but in your heart you know who you are. You just have search for it.

Percilla

Meet Percilla. :) I don’t know if it’ll become a regular thing or not, but she’s fun to play.

Please tell me you like me.

Because I sure like you.

And I miss you, more than you know.

Life

Life is precious. Death is horrid.

Why must life end? So people aren’t in pain. So people know that things happen the way they happen. So people will have warning to make your life a better life.

My dad’s mom died eight months before I was born. She died of lung cancer. She was smoker all her life.

My dad’s sister died two years ago. She died of lung cancer. She was a smoker all her life.

My dad’s father is in the hospital, filled with infection, and possibly lung cancer. His lungs sound like they’re snoring, that’s what the nurse claims. That’s bad.

Grandpa has been in the hospital for nine days. The first five days, he was on the highest amount of oxygen they are legally allowed to give. He got better, slowly… just the tiny things. For three days, he’s been nothing but the same.

My cousin got into town today. She lives in L.A. and she’s expecting her first child. She went to go visit him today. I visited him for the second time since he’s been in the hospital today.

I can’t understand what he says. I’m not good at reading lips. I wanted to tape him, to remember him… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to remember him like he is right now.

Let’s just say… My cousin, uncle, and dad don’t think he’ll be alive when my cousin leaves on Thursday.

He asked for my other cousin. I think he’s waiting until he sees everyone he needs to see.

In the past two years, he’s lost his daughter, his brother, and two sisters. One sister just recently passed, worrying herself into heart attack, on Sunday. Her funeral is today.

He lived a hard life. I don’t want to wait him suffer any more. He’s in pain; emotionally if not both physically and emotionally.

My father told me some things about him and I understand now why he did the things he did and why my dad sometimes acts the way he does.

I’d rather have him not with us, than have him suffer in a hospital.