Life

Life is precious. Death is horrid.

Why must life end? So people aren’t in pain. So people know that things happen the way they happen. So people will have warning to make your life a better life.

My dad’s mom died eight months before I was born. She died of lung cancer. She was smoker all her life.

My dad’s sister died two years ago. She died of lung cancer. She was a smoker all her life.

My dad’s father is in the hospital, filled with infection, and possibly lung cancer. His lungs sound like they’re snoring, that’s what the nurse claims. That’s bad.

Grandpa has been in the hospital for nine days. The first five days, he was on the highest amount of oxygen they are legally allowed to give. He got better, slowly… just the tiny things. For three days, he’s been nothing but the same.

My cousin got into town today. She lives in L.A. and she’s expecting her first child. She went to go visit him today. I visited him for the second time since he’s been in the hospital today.

I can’t understand what he says. I’m not good at reading lips. I wanted to tape him, to remember him… but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I don’t want to remember him like he is right now.

Let’s just say… My cousin, uncle, and dad don’t think he’ll be alive when my cousin leaves on Thursday.

He asked for my other cousin. I think he’s waiting until he sees everyone he needs to see.

In the past two years, he’s lost his daughter, his brother, and two sisters. One sister just recently passed, worrying herself into heart attack, on Sunday. Her funeral is today.

He lived a hard life. I don’t want to wait him suffer any more. He’s in pain; emotionally if not both physically and emotionally.

My father told me some things about him and I understand now why he did the things he did and why my dad sometimes acts the way he does.

I’d rather have him not with us, than have him suffer in a hospital.